I have been put in an unfortunate situation. It’s nothing serious or dire in any manner. It’s simply unfortunate. As a result of this misfortune, I am forced to wait.
I imagine that many of us have been in a scenario in which the above paragraph would accurate portray our thoughts then. I am in this said position in this current moment, as I write this. Where I am now, I have no access to public internet services, and can only access the the web through absurdly slow cellular data that my phone provides. I am attempting to download a 5 gigabyte video game using this cellular data. It has been 2 hours since I have first begun the downloading process. According to the system, 7% of the downloading has been completed. It is estimated to be complete in 15 hours. Of course, I have been avoiding using my phone in those past 2 hours.
I find what I am feeling now to be very unique, in comparison to other feelings of waiting and patience. I do not particularly long for this game. After all, I can simply wait until I have access to Internet in a few days, and even then, I have no grand desire to play the game. I am merely interested. Perhaps my lack of attachment has made it easier for me to feel more calm in my process of waiting. Calm? As I wrote that sentence I stopped to ask myself why I decided to use the word “calm”. After some thinking, I’ve decided that “calm” is most definitely the appropriate word in this context. I feel rather liberated. Interesting to think of “excitement” as something that chains us down, or limits us in someway. It reminds me of a story that a teacher of mine once told, about how a person who is able choose between eating or not eating cake is more “free” than a person who feels forced to eat cake.
In conclusion, I have rediscovered the connection between attachment and patience. In this specific instance, I feel more patient because I am less attached. Feels counterintuitive.
